Monday, December 07, 2009

Hurting people, Hurt people

Our Minister Wade used this quote in His sermon yesterday on “Forgiveness”. I heard this quote several years ago, probably 10 years ago and it has always stuck with me. When people are hurting, they end up hurting others if they do not deal with their hurt or heal in the right way in their lives.

When people become bitter, resentful, vengeful, angry with hate, or they have been hurt by abuse, divorce, neglect, betrayal, etc…it can bring about behavior that is not only not healthy, but ends up hurting those trying to help or hurting those close to us. We not only push people away who care, but we treat them very harsh, even to the point where we ruin relationships because of our behavior and attitude.

People can’t help us when we won’t help ourselves. People won’t stick around forever if they are constantly being yelled at, taken for granted, treated unfairly, or pushed away when all they are trying to do is help and be there. It’s a vicious cycle, that won’t break until we do something about it. We will continue to have broken relationships, whether that is dating, marriages, or friendships because of our unhealthy hurting behavior. We will continue to hurt people, especially those we love and who love us until we deal with and get help for our hurts.

It can mean stop avoiding your pain and start dealing with it. It can mean finally confronting or forgiving someone who hurt you. It may mean going and talking to a counselor or getting therapy. It may mean that you need to seek God and get serious about your faith and allow God to heal you and help you overcome your hurt. It means stop taking out your pain on those who did not cause the pain. It means stop making yourself and others miserable. Get help. Seek help. Find help. Want help.

I have been hurt and I have hurt others, never intentionally, but even if we don’t do it intentionally it doesn’t change the fact we hurt people. Most people who are hurting don’t want to hurt others, push them away, or be mean, but when your feelings and emotions are out of whack, damaged, or remain un dealt with, they really cause chaos, unstability, and a rollercoaster of reactions, emotions, feelings, and behaviors.

I encourage everyone today to stop hurting others by dealing with your hurts today. I would say, healing people, heal people would be a better quote. If we find healing, then we’ll have healed relationships and we’ll help people instead of hurting them. We’ll get help instead of hurting.

“For I AM the Lord, who heals you.” Exodus 15:26b (NIV)


Reece said...

This is a great message.
My comment would be this. When you're hurt or hurting. Give up your pride, arrogance and the me complex. These are some of the root causes of hurt anyway. You're hurt is never as bad if you look around you and see others that have it worse. You won't have to look far.
If by chance you have trouble finding someone who has it worse. In your mind, ask yourself, could you stand the hurt of giving up one of your children (or any loved one) to save others? Ring any bells?
If you are hurting anybody, do a U turn, its legal when it comes to hurt vs. loving?

Jason Thomas said...

great thoughts to add reece.

Susie said...

This post really resonated with me. I have lived this situation with someone I worked for and was I thought a friend. I was really good to them but because of their pain- and yes- I was not perfect they pushed me away and threw me away. No one will stick around and be abused forever. It is a shame they could not see how much I cared and appreciate that. It is very sad because no one wins.