Thursday, March 15, 2012



Psalm 49:5 (NIV)
 5 Why should I fear when evil days come,
when wicked deceivers surround me

I'm not sure there is a worst feeling than being betrayed or hurt or "stabbed in the back" as we like to say by those we love, care about, or consider family or friend.  It's tough, and not an easy answer to respond to how to overcome those tragic moments.  It is true that sometimes you  those we love the most end up hurting us the most, even when it can come to violence or abuse.

I am not sure what always makes a husband hit his wife, or a wife to have an affair on her husband, or parents to abuse their kids, or co-workers to throw us under the bus, or for our best friend to lie to us, our boy/girfriend to cheat on you, or a friend to gossip about you?  I am sure there are many scenarios out there where me and you have been hurt or wounded by a friend or family member.  We expect it from an enemy or stranger sometimes, but never from those we love, trust, or respect the most.

I've been there, am there, and I'm sure many of you reading this have been there or are there too.  What do we do? How do we handle it?  How do we overcome or heal from it?  I think every situation is different and to different degrees and level, but  I think there are some things we can do.

First, we have to forgive.  I am not saying forget, I am not saying allow the person to keep hurting you, or to even stay in the relationship.  They best thing may to end the relationship or part ways or put distance, but forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.  Forgiving is about you releasing yourself of the anger toward the person or offense, so that you do not become vengeful, resentful, bitter, or do or say things you will regret or put yourself at same level as the guilty.  Forgive the offense, and focus on healing.

Secondly, we have to protect ourselves. This may mean distancing yourself from the person, or having nothing to do with them, or ending the relationship, or simply avoiding them until they make sincere effort to change. This step is hard for many people because we feel guilty, or feel sorry for the person especially if it's a loved one, we can make excuses for them, and all these unhealthy things. But, when there is danger, you run, you get out of harms way, and avoid those people that are toxic, dangerous, manipulating, or purposely being or doing wrong.  This isn't being mean or harsh, it's protecting you and your family and sometimes your health or sanity.  It also doesn't mean your a bad christian because you withdrawal from a relationship because of how you've been treated.  Bible says forgive, it doesn't say keep putting up with peoples behaviors.

Thirdly, we keep doing right.  Do not let others actions keep you from trusting people, loving people, or moving on with your life.  There are bad people out there, but no all people are bad.  We just simpoly have to choose better and more wisely those we befriend, marry, date, or family we let close to us.    Even in our best efforts to do right or be a Godly person, because of sin and satan even good people are going to hurt us or wrong us sometimes, but the key is was it accidentaly or intential?  Was it an isolated event or does it consistently happen?  Do not  let others bad behaviors or lifestyles keep you from doing right and being a good person.  If you see red flags, or pick up on inconsistencies in someones speech or behaviors, than beware.

We can pray for those who hurt us, we can pray for God to give us the strength and peace to ovecome and move on and heal and we can read scripture and maybe some other christian books to help us in our quest to heal from hurts.  Wounds seem to be deeper aned hurt more when they are from people who we love and respect and whom we've trusted ourselves around, but we still can learn from this, overcome, don't keep repeating the same hurts and mistakes, heal, and move forward with our lives and sometimes that means without those negative, toxic, and harmful people in our lives and sometimes it can mean restoration or healing of a relationship, that really depends on the offender. 
Psalm 101:4(NIV)
The perverse of heart shall be far from me; I will have nothing to do with what is evil.Titus 3:10(NIV)
Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.

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