Monday, January 31, 2011



How many of us parents or grandparents would think of going to our kids or grandkids and breaking their legs causing them to become crippled? That's absurd, no one in their right mind who loves their children or grandchildren would ever think of doing such a horrible act.

Well, stick with me...We may not physically cripple our children, but if we are not careful we cripple them in many other ways. Here are some ways, that parents and grand-parents cripple their kids:
-Never Saying "NO"
-never allowing them to accept Responsibility for their actions/behavior
-letting them get by with disrespect, backtalk, etc....
-bailing them out when they get in trouble
-blaming others for things your kids do
-not teaching responsibility
-letting kids get by with lying, cheating, and dishonest behaviors
-Not being consistent in discipline
-punishments not fitting the crime(i.e.-small punishment for major wrong)
-never letting them fail
-giving them whatever they want
-enabling negative and bad behaviors

This is not an extensive list, I am sure we could add several more areas to this list. The point is, if we love our kids we will not purposely cripple them in life. No, we're not breaking their legs, but we are preparing them for a life of dissapointment. Because reality is when they get in the real world, they won't be able to function, because they won't be able to make it on their own. They won't have healthy relationships, because their expectations of others will be unrealistic.

When a child is raised spoiled, they enter into life expecting others to be at their beckon call. When children are raised with no discipline or boundaries they struggle in society because they lack structure. Why do you think there are so many dysfunctional people and so many ruined relationships out there?

If we love our kids, we will discipline them. If we love our kids we will tell them No. We will give them consequences, and we will do our best to be consistent, whether it's our children or grand-children. Children are a gift from God, and it's a big responsibility that God has given us. I also believe being a parent and a grandparent is a privilege not a right.

God disciplines those He loves(Hebrews 12:6) and He expects us to do the same with the children we are responsible for. We can make all the excuses in the world; we hate to see them upset, we hate to hurt their feelings, I want to be their best friend, or it's easier to just let things go. But, this is a life we are talking about. You only get one chance to raise a kid or grandkid.

God has high expectations for us. We should follow His model for how we parent. Do not cripple your children. Love them. Love them by telling them no, making them accept responsibility, by giving them consequences, by not tolerating negative or bad behavor, by not enabling them, and even when it's tough or inconvenient sticking with your guns. They will get over being mad, angry, and thinking your evil. Believe me at the time, I didn't like when my parents got onto me, but I am thankful they gave me guidance, rules, structure, consequences, and loved me enough to not cripple me for life.

Proverbs 19:18 (NIV)
"Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death."

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