Monday, August 03, 2009



“These men are grumblers and fault-finders; they follow their own evil desires;” Jude 16(NIV)

Blame. It’s one word that we use to put fault on someone else. As long as we have something or someone to blame, we don’t have to accept responsibility for ourselves, deal with our problems, or change our attitude or behavior.

We blame the referee or coach for our team losing the game. We blame our husband for our unhappiness or our wife for our hostility. We blame our kids for our moods. We blame our parents for not loving us enough. We blame our boss for us not getting promoted or a raise. We blame our employer because we lost our job. You blame the church that your not spiritual enough and you blame God for everything in between.

Blame. It’s a cop-out, an excuse, a justification, it harms our integrity and it robs us of accepting responsibility, admitting our mistakes, or addressing our problems so that we can change, find resolution, or engage in truth.

I would by lying to say I’ve never blamed someone or something else for my problems or situations. I think it’s human nature and a great tool the devil has to mislead us into believing we are always “victims”. We are victims alright, but we are victims of our own choices. We choose to blame instead making things right, or accepting responsibility for our actions, or admitting our fault, or making effort to make things right. Most of all I think we do God a huge injustice when we don’t include Him in the process or as Christians we don’t seek Him out for His guidance, support, and wisdom.

Good people make mistakes. Decent people mess up. Honest people can use blame. I've been guilty. But, blame does nothing but destroy relationships, cause bitterness and resentment, and keeps us from truly healing, changing, or fixing anything. We will never truly heal, mature, grow, or change in the way God desires for us until we stop blaming others for our faults, problems, and behaviors. We all may have things in our past that have caused issues in our lives, but how we choose to handle those issues is our choice.

Maybe you have a bad childhood, an abusive relationship, been stabbed in the back, or had your feelings hurt. Sometimes there is no one to blame, but even if there is don’t.
Blame is not the answer. Forgiveness is. Becoming bitter is not the answer. Healing is. Blaming others is not the answer. Accepting responsibility for yourself is.

Find peace, hope, grace, mercy, comfort, shelter, refuge, and answers in the presence of God. God can turn our blame into reality. Putting our problems in His hands can change our perspective and most of all our hearts and minds. So, that we can heal, move on, be healthy, grow, and have peace.

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