Backbone

BACKBONE

Proverbs 31:9(NIV)
"Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”


Not only is this a physical attribute all of us have (a backbone), but it's sometimes a term we use to describe someone  who stands up to what is right, or sometimes we use it negatively to describe someone who "has no backbone" and will not stand up or address conflict or problems or who acts cowardly.

 

Your backbone sort of keeps your body together, slangily speaking the dictionary defines one who has backbone as "strength or character; being resolute".  It shouldn't surprise me, but we live in a society today where many people don't have much of a "backbone".  They look the other way when someone does something wrong, they enable and allow friends and family to destroy their lives without stepping in or trying to intervene. We won't stand up to bullies or people who try to push us around or others for that matter.

I've always felt like people who had "no spine or backbone" had no self-respect or low self-esteem.  Right is right and wrong is wrong.  Truth is truth and lies are lies.  When it comes to truth and the right thing, we should never cower, avoid, live in denial, or pretend everything is ok when it's not. Just creates an endless cycle of more problems and damage.

I am convinced that is why many of our marriages, family situations, relationships in general, work environments, and even many of our churches have major issues because leaders won't lead, people who are being taken advantage of, hurt, mistreated, abused, harassed, or walked on won't stand up.  Of if someone can't stand up for themselves, then those of us who are aware of it, need to stand up for those who are helpless, but many times don't.  Instead we make excuses, feel sorry, or simple pretend it's not there.

Many times we make excuses and feel sorry for people, so we "tolerate" their behavior or treatment, if they are sick or ill, they need help not sympathy.  Tough love is helping them, sympathy is hurting them. Sometimes we don't want to get involved, but if you don't who will? If others can't or won't do the right thing, how about you?  If you are in a position of leadership in the home, work, or even church you were put there for a reason, to lead.  You cannot lead effectively if you aren't willing to make tough decisions, deal with problems, and confront wrong.

Being a follower of Jesus doesn't mean being weak, timid, or blind.  Even those who do not follow Jesus have to have some sort of moral compass.  We cannot look the other way while people do wrong, hurt othters, or spin out of control. We cannot look the other way while people are hurt, suffer, and are pushed around.

Jesus stood up to sin, bullies, and He stood for those who were hurting and in need.  I think we are called to do the same thing. It's time that we get  a spine, get a backbone, and stop avoiding things because they make us uncomfortable or we are scared. I think it's time to stop running away because we don't want to get involved.  I think it's time that we stop ignoring things because we feel sorry for someone or don't want to make them mad or cause a riff.  Courage is not the absence of fear, it's responding through fear.  Real Character is standing up for what is right, even against oppostion or risk of making someone mad or even if you have to do it alone.

I want to encourage us all no matter the situation in life, if we are faced with an opporunity to confront a problem, deal with a tough issue, or right a wrong or help someone in need,  stop a bully, help a loved one or freind who is hurting themselves, or stop a conflict at work or church, we need to stand up!

Deuteronomy 31:6(NIV)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

No leaders to follow

No Leaders to Follow
I've wrote on leadership before, but until now I haven't truly experienced my first leadership crisis.  I've been on staff at churches and been a part of churches in the past that lacked leadership, or had people in leadership who wouldn't lead effectively (or couldn't), I think part of the reason churches have habitual problems or do not grow is because they lack real, spiritual leadership or they have people in leadership who aren't good leader (they like the title or the attention leadership brings), but leader is not just a title, it's a position that requires you to lead.

 I also understand not everyone is a leader, but still there are many people who have ability to lead, but do not.  I am at a new church that is small,  I'm the only staff now and have no elders.  The church has been dwindling and on a downward spiral for sometime.. I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. People have left and went to other churches, stopped going to church, or died off.  This church like others have had it's past successes and wonderful moments of blessing, but at the same time, if a church doesn't have quality, effecitve, and spiritual leaders the chuch is going to do any number of things: 1) divide 2) waffle 3) be stagnant 4) go in circles 5) be unproductive 6) quench the spirit 7) left hand not knowing what the right is doing 8) nothing will ever get done 9) dissension 10) dwindle and die.  I am sure you can think of some other things, but this was some of the things i've seen or had others share with me about their church.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from other Minister's is they have no leadership in their church.  They  have to end up doing everything themselves and either get burned out or frustrated or they do it all and get blamed for being a "dictator" or a "one man show", but the truth is, when you are the only one willing to lead, then it becomes those out of necessity and people have no right to complain if they aren't willing to serve or lead.

As I look back and learn about the church where I at now, the biggest thing that has been missing or is missing now is leadership.  People to lead.  People willing to lead.  People wanting to lead. People committed to using their leadership skills for God.   We will lead the boosters,PTA, girl/boy scouts,  the committee at work, be a supervisor or boss for a company, or coach a team, but when asked to serve in leadership at church people won't?  What happens, is churches settle and end up letting people lead who shouldn't because they aren't gifted or they want to be a "leader" for the wrong reasons(power, position, control, ego, pride, etc...).

I was called to lead and I'm going to lead. I'm also going to push for leadership and I'm going to try and call out people to lead.  We need leaders in our church, not just preachers,  Elders or Deacons/Ministry leaders, but we need people leading in our nursery, with our children, in our worship, our buildings/grounds, fellowships, meals, benevolence, outreach, evangelism, the lists of plenty of areas of our churches that need quality leadership to take these ministries, programs, and positions to the next level or begin these much needed ministries.  We need people to step up, step out, and step into leadershp in ALL churches.

I don't care your past,  your concerns, or excuses, if God gifted you with leadership abilities you need to be leading.  If God didn't equip you to be a leader, you need to be honest enough to accept it and find other ways to serve besides leadership. 

People cannot follow if they do not have a leader. People will not come to know Jesus if we do not have leaders in our churches or if churches aren't calling out and raising up and training leaders.  I'm a leader and I'm going to lead and I am leading, are you?  If you are gifted, called, and able to lead, then lead.  Ask God to give you a desire and willingness to lead, and then lead. Don't worry about criticism, complaints, or people who try to bully you. Lead!  No Preacher will be successful if he doesn't have people in the church willing to lead and no church will grow if it doesn't have people willing to lead.  Let's lead so people can follow.

Hebrews 13:7(NIV)

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Always Forget, Never Remember?

Always Forget, Never Remember?

This will be one of many articles I am sure you will read or come across talking about the 10 year annv. of the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001.  It falls on a Sunday, so a great opportunity for churches and preachers to use this time, as a great outreach, support, and reminder to all their church members and communities.

One thing you can be sure of, we forget, and we don't remember.  There are plenty of posters, clip art, and sign sayings, "Never Forget", and "Always Remember" and things like that about 9/11/01, but truth is we are a human race that forgets.  Go back and read the Old Testament of the Bible, how many times did the children of Israel turn to God, seek God, and get rescued and forgiven by God, only to forget, rebel, and follow their own ways or after other Gods? Plenty!  They forgot.  They didn't remember. 

Look at the New Testament, the jews were promised a Messiah and what happened when He finally came? They rejected Him, because they forgot or didn't remember the promises of God.  Look at churches today,  How many people go to church, get on fire for Jesus, get saved, etc...only in time to stop going to church or stop serving God. Why? We forget, we stop remembering.

How about your life or mine? How many times have we sinned, continued to sin, fell away, rebelled, or chose poorly? Why? We forget.  We don't remember.  We forget the kindnesss, unconditional love, grace, mercy, and salvation of God. We don't remember the healing He gave us at one time, the forgiveness, and gift He gave us.

We are forgetful people.  I know people are thinking about 9/11 because it's a 10 year annv., but I remember 10 years ago, how many people were scared the world was going to end, or we were all going to die, and people flocked to churches and God.  Where are they today? Many of them back to their old lives and back to no change.  Over time, the feelings of fear and the emotions of mortality faded, and they slowly went back to their old lives, old vices, old habits, old routines, and slowly but surely,they forgot about church, God, and faith.  Now, I am sure there were some people who came to God because of the 9/11 events, God always uses bad for good, but if I were a betting man, I'd bet more people forgot and faded than those who got saved(though we still rejoice for everyone who gets saved).

My thought for you this morming, is to develop better memory habits.  We need reminders, or we forget.  That is why  it's so important to talk (pray) to God daily, even though life may be busy. It's important to block off time daily or regularly to read/study the Bible even though you got distractions or obligations.  It's important to attend church and be involved serving in church regularly, not just sunday mornings only or hit and miss, but committed faithfully to attending, but not just attending, serving, giving, and being an active part of the church body.

In doing so, this will help you to remember and stay focused, if not the busyiness, hobbies, distractions, temptations,and life will get in the way and you will forget to serve, read, pray, attend, and grow your relationship with God.  Stay focused, stay involved, stay connected, so that you will not forget and will remember the goodness of God.

Proverbs 4:5(NIV)

"Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them."

Nehemiah 9:16-18(NIV)

16 “But they, our ancestors, became arrogant and stiff-necked, and they did not obey your commands. 17 They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them, 18 even when they cast for themselves an image of a calf and said, ‘This is your god, who brought you up out of Egypt,’ or when they committed awful blasphemies.

What are you doing?

What Are You Doing?

Romans 12:6-8(NIV)
6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully




We want God to do all sorts of things for us don't we?  We want Him to answer all our prayers exactly the way we want them answered and quickly. We want God to bless us and give us all the things we want, need, and "think" we need.  We can even want church to be exactly how we think it should be, sing the songs we want, spend money the way we want, have the traditions and programs I like, and the list is endless of things we want from God or want God to do.

However, the better question is:  What are YOU doing for God?  If being a Christian was just about us giving our opinions and/or coming and sitting on a church pew on Sunday mornings and attending church, we'd all be super-christians.  But, being a Christian or being the church, is not about attending a church service or getting our way. As a matter of fact, being a christian really is the opposite.  It's about "being" the church and not attending a church service, and it's about "giving" ourselves to God in worship and service and not just giving an opinion.

So, What are you doing?  Where are you serving?  How are you giving? Are you truly committed to God and His church?  We give tons of cash to a house payment, car payment, or our hobbies of golf, boating, or camping, but what do we give God? We spend countless hours scrapbooking, fishing, going to little league, or cheer competitions, or yard sales, but how much time a week do we devote to serving God?  We use our abilities to help with school athletic boosters, PTO, little league officer, Kiwanis or Lion's club, or countless other causes(most are good), but if we are asked to volunteer, serve, lead, or teach at church, we don't have time.

So, What are you doing?  Do you spend time each day in prayer talking to God?  Are you spending regular amounts of time reading or studying the Bible or involved in a weekly Bible study or SS class?  Are you doing your part in the church and volunteering and serving in some way in one of it's programs or ministries?  Are you committed to giving financially to God. Remember you are giving to God through His church, not just giving money to "your" church. 

So, What are you doing? Are you serving? Are you giving? Are you leading? Are you committed? Are you doing your part? Are you giving your best to God? Are you

Be careful what you ask for

*sorry it's been a few weeks since my last blog. We have been in process of moving and getting internet and getting settled.

Be Careful What you Ask for

How many times have you wished for something or asked for something or prayed to God for something you wanted or wanted to do?  You finally get what you thought you wanted and you now have regret? dissapointment?  frustration?  Because what you thought you "wanted" or "needed" was not what you wanted, needed, or what was best for you? It may not even be what God intended for you?  Or it may be something God wanted you to have or do and you fight against it, even though you asked for it.

I'm not sure what your situation, problem, or what it is that your life doesn't have or you think you want, need, or have to change?  However, I do know that sometimes we ask for things we don't need, we want things that are not healthy for us, and we can even pray to God for things we know aren't in His will.

How can we avoid this?   I think 1.) You pray, but pray unbiased to God, and truly be open to His will, not yours. Not what you want or think you want or need, but pray for God to give you or do or show you what HE wants for your life.  2.)  Weigh the options.  You have to look at the pro's and con's and the positive and negatives of what you think you want or need or are asking for.  Take time to truly evaluate and see if what you want or asking for is because you are being selfish, might be being negatively influenced by someone or something, or just havent researched the consequences of if you actually got your wish. 3.)  Seek Godly counsel.  Sometimes we go around and ask for advice from people until we find one that tells us what we want to hear, so we think we got affirmation or justification to what we want.  However, this is wrong.  We need to talk to people we trust, know will tell be completely honest with us, and tell us like it is, and then we need to respect their honesty and thank them for being a real friend and consider highly their honest counsel.
4.) Change your mindset.  Stop being guided by emotions, feelings, pleasure, selfishness, fantasy, or lies.  Be realistic when you think you want something. Ask why do I really want this?  What is it I really hope to get out of this?  Is it truly worth it?  How am I going to feel once I get what I think I want?  We've got to think, evaluate, view, and pray with a right mindset that is open to the option of maybe what i'm asking for I don't need, don't really want, is not best for me, or will cause more problems.

These are just my suggestions from my experiences and the experiences I've seen in others, but I pray they help you.  We need to be very very careful what we ask for, what we pray for, and what we think we "want" or "need".  From a christian standpoint, we especially need to involve God in all things and seek His will and strive to live our lives with Him as our guide and helping us make our decisions and choices in daily life so that we don't do things or get things that will hurt us, cause us pain, or leave us with regret. 

Sometimes God will give us what we want, even though it's not His will because He's tired of our rebellious heart.

Psalm 81:12(NIV)

So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.

But, God truly wants us to use wisdom, discernment, and grow to what we ask for

Proverbs 4:26(NIV)Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways

Ask for God's will when we ask for anything, not "our" will, but God's!
1 John 5:14
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Bozoo Bound

Bozoo Bound

Why Bozoo? I say Why not?  I've gotten different comments about going to Bozoo Christian Church, all are positive.  The biggest question is how is it pronounced, it's Bo-Zoo, not Bozo not Bazoo, it's Bo-zoo.  The next question is where is it.  It's in Monoroe county in southern West Virginia near the Virginia border(for those of you in the midwest or southwest or west, West Virginia and Virginia are 2 different states, WV was 35th state in the union, c'mon pay attention in geography or look at a map).

Bozoo is in Monroe county just about 5 miles outside the city limits of Peterstown WV.  Now where is Peterstown?  it is about 15 minutes EAST of Princeton, WV off of Highway 460 (on rt. 219 out of Rich Creek, VA) or it's about 15 minutes WEST of Pearisburg, VA or 45 minutes WEST of Blacksburg, VA, home of the VA Tech Chokies, I mean Hokies.

Bozoo is a small rural farming community and is nestled beautifully in the moutains of southern WV and within 30-60 minutes of many  places including Bluestone Lake, Pipestem, Winterplace Ski Resort, Lewisburg, the Greenbriar, New River, etc...so many places to camp, fish, sightsee, and enjoy the outdoors.

Bozoo Christian Church is where I will be preaching.  It's a small church that has it's roots back to 1896. The church used to be a  larger and more active, but in recent years has dwindled down to over half of what they used to be to about 40 faithful people, due to either lack of leadership, no minister, or various other circumstances.  However, those that are left desire to see the church grow, get the church moving again, and see God work in their community again.  They realize if they do not try and get a full-time Minsiter now, that in the near future they would be in danger of even exisiting or still having services.

Many people my age and situation may want a larger church, or many people seem to be in the movement of going and starting new churches and doing church plants.  I've read it's easier to go into a community and start a new church, than it is to go into an old church and try and change it.  While this is probably true, I am not going in with the mindset of trying to change the church.  I am going in with the mindset and attitude of being faithful with the small things.  Helping this church get organized and structured, and provide leadership. I also know with this ministry there will be no quick fixes.  It will take much time, prayer, effort, and most of all relying fully on the power of the Holy Spirit and trusting in God to work.  As long as people are willing to follow me and we work together, we can change and can grow all under God's blessings.

I like a challenge. I like the thought of going into a church and helping them.  I told my wife we are really going to be missionaries to Bozoo.  We will not have the resources and things we need at first, and that is why i've asked some of my ministry friends and friends at churches (and I'm asking you) if you want to motivate your church, SS class or small group, or youth group to give a one time donation to the church at  BCC there are lots of projects where there is great need and will cost money, which as you know in smaller churches is not in great supply. (if you do want to help, email me jbthomas72@hotmail.com ).  They are going out on a limb to hire me and have spent much money fixing up the parsonage, but there is much more to do.

However, though we may have some resources we will be lacking, we will build toward those things and strive to make the church in all areas better and healthier and it will take time as i grow in relationship and trust with the current members and as wel begin to reach out to that community.  We may not have all the high-tech stuff, modern contemporary worship I enjoy, but there are some things in smaller country churches that are nice too. Like great home cooking, friendliness, loyalty, and a giving spirit.

I joked with a freind I am not exactly in high demand, I've moved around too much the past few years, I don't have the typical bible degree from college, and my wife has been married before, so many churches look over me, but I like to think I'm a diamond in the rough. That God isn't finished with me yet, and that if I am faithful and obedient, He will bless me and my family and the church I serve Him in.  It's His church and His will be done.

We are looking forward to going to Bozoo, even with the challenges and things ahead, I am confident in God and my ability to serve Him, and with the core group of people there that Bozoo Christian Church can be effective and relevant to that community again.  There are not shortage of lost people or unchurched people out there, and there is no shortage of casual christians, church hoppers, and non-committal christians out there.  There is plenty of work to do, no matter where you go or serve.

You say why Bozoo? I say why not? I desire to serve God and He desires to use  me. Bozoo has a great need and I desire to fill that need for God.  I do  not know what the future will hold, I do not know how we will accomplish some of the things that need to happen, and I do not  know how everything will get done, but I do not God can do ANYTHING and it's He that I hope guides us.  I just want to be obedient and available to Him and continue to grow in wisdom, patience, faith, and knowledge as I try to go as a Christian and as a Minister.

I ask for your prayers.  Come and visit us sometime.  Come and stay with us(we will have guest room and plenty of room), if you come and camp or ski or travel near us, give us a shout.  You can find Bozoo Christian church on Facebook and you can google us. I hope within the year to have a website up and running.   Looking forward to seeing what God is going to do at Bozoo Christian Church.

Blessings and love,

Jason

Talk to ME

Talk to Me

I think the biggest issue in relationships, businesses, and even church leadership is communication.  People have trouble expressing their feelings or putting them into words, and being honest and straight about what they want, how they feel, or in making decisions.

How many conflicts, problems, or issues could be resolved if people would only speak up?  We have people in leadership in companies and especially churches who will not communicate with people.  They are in a position of leadership, but will not lead. They don't want to cause a wave, hurt feelings, make anyone mad, make themselves uncomofortable, or deal with whatever the issue at hand is.   The problem is however, you created more and bigger issues by not communicating directly, honestly, promptly, and effectively.

I think in our relationships whether dating, marriage, parenting, or friendships could be alot better if we'd express our feelings, desires, wants, or needs into words.  So many times we want to avoid conflict so we remain silent, we don't want to cause problems so we stay quiet, or we don't want to share our true feelings out of discomfort or awkwardness.  Once again, you create more problems by not communicating how you really feel.

If I was being completely honest with you, i am direct, blunt, and say how I feel.  I usually don't hold back.  I agree at times I may need to have more tact or I don't have to say everything I feel or that pops into my head(I'm a work in progress), however, it makes no sense to me why people won't stand up, speak out, or say how they are feeling, what they want, or what needs to happen or change.   We live with a constant "elephant in the room" in our board meetings, leadership meetings, or in our conversations with loved ones.

We cannot have healthy relationships, lead effectively, or run a company, business, organization, or church without learning to speak up, communicate clearly and effectively, and without confronting pressing issues head on.  

For example, I heard recently from some people from a church about being upset about a change in service times.  It wasn't that they were upset that the times changed, they were upset the Elders of the church didn't communicate the changes, or seek feedback from the church.  Another  example, would be having an issue at work with an employeed always coming in late or not doing their job, but refusing to address the issue because you don't want to cause a problem(hello! You're in charge, it is your problem!).  Or in relationship if your husband says something to hurt your feelings, or your brother treats you bad, or a friend throws you under the bus, and you avoid telling them how it made you feel, well you are the only one who can say how you feel, or what you want. 

I know not everyone is talkative, some more more introverted and quiet, but even if that is your personality, you still have to speak up and communicate with people, especially if you are in relationships or in positions of authority.  If you are a leader or boss and you don't like commmunicating, making decisions, or dealing with problems head on, then maybe it's time for you to resign or find a job or role where you don't have to deal with those things.

Sometimes we want the title, the glory, or the pay but then don't want to do the job or role.  Sometimes we want the relationship or friendship but at the expense of our integrity or character.  We've gotta learn to talk, communicate, and share our feelings, expectations, wants, desires, needs, and even our authority(if we are in a position to have the right to excerise it).

Maybe you are with people who talk to much, or dominate conversataions, they maybe that way because they are allowed to be, or because no one else ever steps in and speaks up.  Don't be afraid to cut them off and be heard, or keep them on task, or gain the respect to be heard yourself!

Jesus was the ultimate communicater. He was open, honest, and direct.  I think all our relationships whether personal, professional, or spiritual could be so much better if we'd all learn to talk to each other and not waste time, worry, or avoid subjects or conversations that need to happen. 

Ephesians 4:25(NIV)

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

You of little faith

You of little Faith?

Jesus used that statement five(5) times in book of Matthew.  Once  He talked about worry(matt 6:30), once when He calmed the storm (matt 8:26), once when Peter joined him walking on water and he tooks His eyes of Jesus and begin to sink(matt 14:31), once when He was dealing with the disciples in teaching them to beware of the teachings of the pharisees and sadducees(matt 16:8), and once when the disciples couldn't drive out a demon and He told them they only needed faith the size of a mustard seed and they could move a mountain (matt 17:20).

Whether it was worry, fear, focus, education, or doubt Jesus expects those of us who follow Him or claim to be His to have FAITH.  Big faith, not little faith.  Faith is belief in action. We can't say we truly have faith in God if we are constantly worrying about every little thing or afraid of what will happen if we take a risk or make a decision.  We can't say we have faith, if we are easily influenced by the world, false teaching, or religion based on traditions, or if we doubt the power of God to do whatever He wants through us. We can't say we have faith, if we doubt that God can do what He wants to do, anytime He wants to do it, and anyway He wants to do it.

Do you see? Faith is not just a word to say I'm a christian or go to church? People ask what faith are you? We say Christian, Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, etc...Faith is not a religion or denomination. Faith is built on our belief and relationship in God. 

The biblical definition of faith is found in Hebrews 11:1(NIV)
¹ Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see

FAITH means being SURE, having HOPE, being CERTAIN, even though we do not see God right in front of us physical.

This sure, hopeful, certain faith should motivate us to overcome fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and act upon our belief in our relationship with God.  It should help us keep our focus and attention on God.  To read and study His Holy Word so we are educated and not easily led astray or influenced by bad teaching, leagalism, sin, tradition, or false hope.  It should give us confidence that we have the power of God(His Spirit) living and working in us, that we can do anything God wants us to do, and that we trust wholly and completely in God that we can do anything God wants us to do, yes even moving a mountain with the faith small as a mustard seed.

Yet, many Christians live like they have no faith.  They live in constant worry or fear. They are afraid to fail so they do not try. They worry about the future, so they do not trust in God's outcome.  They don't have faith in prayer to God or in learning His word, so they are constantly confused by things we read or religous talk.  We  don't tap into the power of the Holy Spirit in us and we neglect it and thus we don't use our talents, gifts, or abilities for God.  In reality we limit God.

Churches are no different. Churches never plan what they can't pay for or do in their own power.  Churches won't step out in faith and hire additional staff, or build a better facility, or deal with difficult people who are holding their church back.  The church(it's leaders, shepherds, pastors, and preachers, even members) need to start practicing what they preach, or as the old saying goes "put your money where your mouth is", in translation, we need to not just talk, we need to walk the walk.  We need to be people who are christians, who are church members, and church leaders to have BIG faith, not little faith, or no faith. 

I don't care what it is?  Relationships? Finance? Decisions? Problems?  We need to put our faith in God.  We need to Trust God by exercising our faith.  I don't want Jesus to say about me what He said about others, "OH you of little faith.".

I'm not worthy

I'm Not Worthy

You remember that from the movie "Wayne's World", when Wayne and Garth would meet one of their heroes?  However, sometimes the opposite of that happens when people expect you to bow down to them, like they are special, better than you, or above others and they are not deserving.

You may know the Bible speaks of "Pride comes before the fall" (Proverbs 16:18), but why is it that some people take their faith, "calling", or religion so serious, that  they become arrogant, haughty, or stuck-up, when those things are the opposite of what it means to be a christian, pastor, or preacher.  We must be humble, sincere, and seek out the good of others and most of all God's glory before ourselves.

We live in a world of mega-churches Pastors and televangelists that demand their own parking space,  want treated like a celebrity or apostle, and love the attention the comes with being a "Preacher".  Or they are so puffed up with what they think is their own knowledge, gifts, and "know it all" you can hardly be around them.  You can't talk to them, because they are never wrong, you can't debate them because they don't listen except to their own voice, and you can't reason with them, because are more righteous than you.  This isn't just preacher's, this goes for some christians as well.

I got news for all of us out there(yes, me too!), we are not better than anyone else.  It doesn't matter your last name, your position in society, your title, your education, how much money you make, or how many books you've read.  Not one person is better than the other.  I don't care if you've been to church your whole life, been a christian most of your life, or been to seminary, bible college, or ordained a minister, elder, deacon, or duke of Earl, as the saying goes, "All ground is level at the foot of the cross."

We all need Jesus. We all need a Savior.  We all fall short and sin every day(Romans 8:28), none of us know it all, and  no one is better than the other.  No color of skin, no amount of income, and no job title will get you any closer to God. 

If we want to grow in our knowledge, faith, and wisdom of God, then we need to be humble and teachable.  If we want God to use our abilities and talents for His purpose, we need be be humble and willing.  If we want to make a difference in this world then we must be humble and serve like Christ.

I may know more about the Bible than you, but you may pray more often than I do.   You may be a more mature Christian than I am, but I do a better job of sharing my faith with others.  I may preach and teach, but you  may encourage, give lavishly, and pray earnestly more often for others needs than I do.  The point is,we all have our strengths, we alll have our weaknesses, and we all are equal in God's eyes.  He died for each of us, He loves us all the same, and He offers us all the same opportunities to be be saved, to grow in our faith, to serve, to give, and to love as He does.

We should  have confidence in our God, but not arrogance. We should be secure in our relationship with God, but not be judgemental and look down on those who aren't.  We should feel good to know that we are God's and loved by Him unconditionally, but we should not think we are better than anyone, only better off that some because we are God's and they have not yet chose Him. 

Love God, Love others!  Be the church!  Let your light Shine!  Be Humble!  Be available!  Let God use you! Lead others to Him!  Share your faith in Love!  Be sincere!  Be sincere!  Be the you God created you to be!  We are only worthy because of God.  He is the one who is truly Worthy of all praise, all glory, and all credit!

Philippians 2:3(NIV)

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."

Ignore

Ignore

That's what we like to do sometimes isn't it? Ignore.  Ignore it and it will go away?  Well I've not learned everything, but I've learned most things in life just don't go away.  Can't ignore the fly or the mosquito it's not just going to get bored and go away.  You can't ignore your whining kid, they won't go away.  You also can't ignore the problem in your life with drugs or alcohol that's turning into a dependence or an addiction.  It's not going to fix itself.  You can't ignore the warning signs and flashing lights of  bad relationships whether friendship, dating, or marriage, they aren't going to just resolve on their own. 

Yes, we can ignore the messy bedroom or the leaky sink or the tight jeans, but guess what, they aren't going to clean themselves, fix themselves, or get loose on their own.  No matter how big or how small the problem, issue, or trouble, things aren't going to be resolved, fixed, or overcome by ignoring them.

We have church leaders who want the title as "Pastor" or "Elder" or "Leader", but when it comes to dealing with problems or preventing problems or "leading", they would rather "Ignore" than lead. When it comes to having a struggle with a sin, or bad habit, or something, we want to just ignore it and live in denial, but problem is it doesn't go away it gets worse, creates more problems, and affect others.

Several years ago, I left  full-time ministry and during that time out of ministry I started turning to alcohol and away from Jesus.  I knew it wasn't ok or right to abuse alcohol or ignore Jesus, but I didn't care, my heart had become hard.  I tried ignoring my problems for awhile.  When I was sad, depressed, lonely, or upset I'd turn to alcohol.  It created more problems that it solved.  I made poor decisions,  I was a bad example, I let people down, and I just created more problems for myself by abusing and mis-using alcohol.  I couldn't ignore the problem anymore or it would have turned into a bigger problem and could have ruined my life, or even any opportunity I had to minister in the future.

Praise God, I stopped ignoring and started dealing.  I turned back to God, He healed me and eventually was able to use me again in full-time ministry.  Sadly, many people don't recover because they continue to ignore the problems.

When you have to have it, have to do it, or your life revolves around it, it's no longer healthy.  Whether it's abusing Alcohol, doing drugs, using people for sex, hanging with the wrong crowd, or dating people who treat you bad, or hanging out with friends who use you, or something less noticeable like having a negative attitude, or being moody, or being judgemental and criticical of others.  Anything, that is ignored long enough becomes a problem, but eventually not just a problem for you, but for those you come into contact with.

You think a drug user is only one to deal with his demons? You think the gossip, the negative, or the angry are  the only ones effected by their behavior?  Everyone pays the price when we ignore stuff.

You refuse to lead and ignore problems in your church, your marriage, or your children, there are consequences.  You refuse to deal with your addiction, it will eventually kill you or land you in prison and definitly alone.  You keep ignoring your behaviors or attitudes or feelings and you will push people away, isolate yourself, and be miserable and make others miserable.

Don't ignore things in your life any longer. Deal with them.  Get help if you need it.  Seek help if you need it.  Change what you can.  Address what you can.  Deal with what you can.  Most of all seek God.  Allow God to help you change, grow, mature, and deal with issues, problems, etc..in your life.  Ask God for wisdom to make better choices or decisions.  Surround yourself with people, family, church, whoever that truly loves you, and will be a positive help in your life.

Don't go through life ignoring things, or it will be a constant reminder of regret, pain, problems, and troubles.  Don't make excuses, blame others, or IGNORE it all thinking it will go away. It will not.  Not only will it not go away, it will come back on you a lot bigger and a lot worse. Most of all don't ignore God and His helping Hand.  God can help you, heal you, and hold you.

Proverbs 8:33(NIV)

"Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it."

PURE

PURE

Isaiah 1:18

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Look at these sheep.  They really stand out against the back drop of green grass.  They are white, fluffy, and pure.  White is the color of purity.  Purity is a good thing.   Let's look at the next picture below.

Now? Not so much.  They look nice and white when they are compared to green grass, but once you place them up against sometime a lot whiter and more pure like fresh snow, the flaws and dirt become obvious.

That's sort of what Jesus does.  Jesus is Pure.  He is Holy. He is perfect. He is without defect.  We are not.  Sometimes we'd like to think we or someone we love is like the pretty white sheep standing in a lush green pasture, but truth is we are all are or were like the dirty white sheep standing in the snow.  We need Jesus.  Jesus is the only one who can make us pure and clean us up to be like Him.

It's very easy to get caught up in I'm a good person, I do good things, and I don't know why I need this Jesus.  It's also easy to be very critical of others faults or presumed faults while ignoring the much worse ones you have. 

Which sheep are you? Are you the one hiding in the green grass pretending to be pure? It's like putting yourself around fat people so that you look skinny, or hanging out with people uglier than you so you look pretty.  It's like being hurtful or tearing someone else down so that you look smart.  All you are doing is trying to cover up your impurities and hide your faults.

If we hold oursleves up to a higher standard which is God, we realize we aren't as pure. We have faults, blemishes, and defects.  But, don't get depressed or low self-esteem. There is good news. What we all really need to do(yes, this means me too) is look at Jesus who is PURE and compare ourselves to Him. We need to realize we need Him and we cannot be pure without Him.   God makes us pure.  Its the reason Jesus came to earth, lived as a human, died a cruel death on the cross, and become our sin, took our hell, and defeated them all in order to make us pure.  He became our sacrificial lamb. Jesus is the pure white sheep.

We can become pure, only because of Jesus. Not anything we did, can do, or ever will do.  Purity comes from Him.  It is our goal to strive to live pure lives.  We us purity alot of times talking about sex, but purity is really for all areas of our lives.  Anytime we sin, pick up bad habits, or do wrong, we become impure. 

 Dictionary defines Pure as : "free from tainting or polluting matter; clean; wholesome"  This is what God does for us through Jesus.  We get "tainted" or "polluted" with sin, problems, negative attitudes, bitterness, envy, hatred, addictions, etc....and Jesus comes in and makes us "clean" and "whole". 

All of us are born human, therefore we are born into a sinful world and over time, we ourselves become sinful and dirty, and impure.  I know I was dirty once and there was a time I gave up the purity to be dirty again. Thank God He doesn't give up on us!

  Many times we don't realize it because we surround ourselves around things and people and places that mask or camoflauge our imperfections and impurities, we sometimes hide behind them in order to make ourselves look good. However, when we compare ourselves to the Purity of Jesus, we realize we need to be like Him, we need Him, and He is the only one who can truly clean us.  Then we can share with others how they can become pure no matter what they've said or done in the past or present.  God is Pure.

 Titus 1:15

To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.

Psalm 51:7

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Holiday Inn Express Religion

Holiday Inn Express Religion

You remember those cool commercials back a few years ago don't you?  Where someone is an "expert" in something and come to find out they really weren't a Doctor, or a Animal Trainer, but they did stay in a Holiday Inn Express the night before. It went with their marketing campaign "Stay Smart".  I for one enjoyed these commercials, because it showed these people who were just average people trying to do things they were not educated, experienced, or skilled to do, yet they thought they could because they stayed at the Holiday Inn Express. (btw picture of Sarah Palin has nothing to do with article, but only funny one I could find)

Sad thing is we got people who live this way in real life, not that they stayed at a hotel, but they they think they are experts or know about things they don't.   Whether they have grandiose thoughts or are narcissistic or simple delusional by their own thoughts, there are people out there who don't go to church, yet they seem to be experts on the church.  They don't claim christianity, yet they seem to know everything about being a christian and how you should be living and acting.  They don't read the Bible or study it daily or regularly (and some don't even claim belief in God), yet they seem to want to quote the bible.

What's up with that?  Now to be fair, I will say there are some churches out there and some "christians" who do bring on trouble themselves and who do hurt the cause of Christ and give church and christians a bad name, but it's like just anything, they are mostly the exception and not the rule.  However, that being said, I also think alot of people who for whatever reasons have issues with God, the church, or Christians like have this idea they know all about the Bible, God, Christianity, Jesus, and the Church yet don't.  I call this "Holiday Inn Express Religion", thank you I just made that up.

I've had people question my faith, my calling, or my christianity in the past because they didn't agree with something I said, or think I said or meant, or did, or God only knows why?  But, my conclusion is it's because people for various reasons (doubt God, confused, been hurt by the church, judged unfairly by a christian, etc...)  have some sort of underlying issue with God, the church, or christianity, so because of that they try to make the church look bad, look for reasons to discredit the bible, judge christains harshly, or try to use the bible against you by taking bible verses out of context, misquoting it, or saying things not even in the bible(of course even chrisitans/churches do that sometimes defending their legalistic ways).

My point being if you don't believe in God, then you should have no worries, shouldn't have to defend yourself or put down others.  I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I  don't go around telling little kids she's fake or they are hypocrites for trying to push santa on me.   I don't believe in psychics,  but I don't go around condemning and telling them how to read tarot cards or palms or quote out of their mystical books to them.  You see my point? If you don't believe in something, then live like it.  There very few true atheists or agnostics out there. They claim it, but if you are trying to prove christianity false or make religion look bad or looking for reasons to discredit it or those who believe that's real hypocracy.  I agree some religion is bad, but believing in God and having a relationship with Him is not.   Also, there are people who have distorted views of God for whatever reasons?   They are spiritual, but not religious; or they are religous, but not spiritual;  or into other gods or religions or something? I think the biggest issue is people are trying to figure out God and fit Him into their mold, belief system and  lives, when true christian faith in God is fitting ourselves into God's mold and His life and allowing Him to work in us.

People fight and argue, condemn christians, churches, preachers, and faith because of their own demons, ignorance, agenda, or confusion.  They try to use the things of faith (bible, church, etc) against christians, that is why its so imporant for christians to know their bibles, and know why we believe what we believe, and  to be mindful of satanic attacks.  Also, we must realize no matter what we say or do, we are going to sometimes be attacked unfairly regardless.  That is the problem of the attacker and not you.  If you are striving to live like Christ, grow in your faith, and be an example, there is nothing you can do with these so called "experts". Nothing you say or do is going to change their mind, because they aren't willing to listen, because "they already know".  They think they know more about church, religion, christianity, and the bible than you and you can and will never live up to their expectations, but funny thing is they are trying to make people live up to a standard they themselves don't practice or believe in.

Truth is, I'm a christain, but I still don't know everything, I am a preacher by calling, but I still sin and make mistakes(and have a past).  I go to church, read and study my bible regularly, and pray constantly, but do I know everything about God, the bible or christianity? No!  But, I do know I don't know everything and don't pretend.  I've stayed at a Holiday Inn Express and I don't know everything about God. I'm even a Priority Rewards card carrying member of their hotel rewards points and Im still not an expert.  Truth is, if you reject God, choose to not believe, or don't accept christianity, then don't pretend you know everything about something you refuse to accept, follow, or receive and don't worry about those "christians".   In the same token, us confessing christians, do need to work daily to know what we believe and why.   If we are going to stay a christian, we need to "Stay Smart" , learn, and grow from our relationship with God.

I Peter 3:15-16(NIV)

15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

Things I've learned my first year of marriage

1st Year Anniversary
Saturday, June 18th will mark the One (1) year marriage anniversary for Cheryl and I.  Though many thought Jesus would come back or pigs would fly before I ever got married, it did finally happen.  Cheryl has been a childhood friend whom I grew up with, graduated High school with, and we shared many mutual friends. She was also my sister's best friend.  After High School our lives went different directions, probably as far different as you can be.  A couple years ago, our paths crossed again, of all places on Facebook.  After we renewed our friendship and catching up on our lives and even visiting over dinner with my sister and her family, eventually Cheryl asked me out on date and shared her feelings with me, that were mutual and I came back to WV for a date and we started dating.  I was still living in Indiana at the time, so we did the long distance thing for a few months before I decided to move back to WV.  We dated for 6 more months and were married on Friday, June 18, 2010 in a small ceremony with family in the front yard of her parents house.

I would like to say that our first year of marriage was easy, filled with fairytales, rainbows, and bliss, but it wasn't if I was being honest.  We love each other deeply, we are glad we are married, and people make fun of us for expressing our love on facebook so much, but with any relationship, especially the first year is learning to live with someone new, getting to know each others habits, personalites, quirks, strengths & weaknesses, and everything else in between takes adjusting.   Our first year of marriage not only brought those challenges and blessings, but also the mix of a 37 year old bachelor never married, a person coming out of a abusive married and nasty divorce,  two children(one with mental illness), and also dealing with the recent death of Cheryl's dad about 6-7weeks before our wedding, and some family issues. Can you say it, reality TV?
I'm an analytical person, so I like to evalute, analyze, and look at things (sometimes too much), but I think it's healthy for all couples married or not to regulalry communicate and evaluate their relationship, what's working,what's not?  What can I do better?  what am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? what do I need to change?  What successes are we having, what failures?  What issues are contributing to our troubles or making our marriage healthy?  These type of questions should be asked and communicated in the relationship as well as, personal self-evaluation and constructive criticism from your partner.

After coming out of a unhealthy and nasty relationship I wasn't for sure I wanted to be in another, and Cheryl after being in her long abusive, negative, unhelathy marriage, wasn't for sure she wanted to ever get married again, probably let alone date.  But, we believe it was no mistake that God brought us together and crossed our paths.    I am sure Cheryl has her own list of things she's learning or has learned from being togehter,  because each of us view things different and based on our life experiences, personalities, and relationship with God view or see the world and people and things differently.  But, these are the things I've learned my first  year of marriage (and yes I had Cheryl approve this before posting it for the world to see, I'm not totally stupid.) Anyway, this list isn't in any type of order, but hopefully it can help others, so here goes things I've learned my first year of marriage.

1.  Moving beside your In-Laws not a great idea starting out your marriage.  While this may work for some, it also can cause conflict and with our circumstances was a bad idea. as Forest Gump says, "that's all i got to say about that."
2. Blended families take a lot of work.  Cheryl has 2 children and one who has Asperger's Syndrome(high functioning Autism) and other issues.  Both have issues do the experiences that have face with being children of divorce, especially a nasty one, and dealing with unstable family members.  It has been rough on them.  Having a new step-dad come in the picture is also complicating. It has been an adjustment for all of us, we are still working on.
3.  Talk about things before they happen.   Cheryl and I sat down before getting married and decided what my role would be as a parent and how we wanted to run our home and raise children.  Whether you have no kids yet or both bring in kids from a previous marriage, its' important to decide how you are going to do things before you are faced with them, even then, it still wasn't and isn't easy. Have to be supportive and consistent.
4. Center on God.  No relationship is going to have balance if both people aren't seeking to put God at the center of their lives and especially in their marriage.  Cheryl and I both love God and want to please Him and have him in our marriage, but there are times we both fail as individuals and in our marriage. We are trying to learn to put God first in our personal lives, so we will be the best partner for each other.  It's a struggle because there are many distractions.
5. Learn to Apologize. Sorry doesn't always cut it, sometimes we like to say sorry or we say it so much it loses it's meaning, but I find when you live with someone every day and depend on each other, you at times misunderstand each other's feelings, intentions, or motives.  We end up offending, hurting feelings, or frustrating each other unintentional and you have to learn to apologize often.
6. I'm not the only one.  At least for me being single for so long, i was the only one I had to worry about or be concerned about. Now I have a wife and 2 kids to think about.  It's easy for me to be impatient or get angry easy waiting on them to get ready or them to slow me down, because I am so used to only me.  I'm having to learn that more people  require more patience and more time to do things.
7.Both have Baggage.  Even though I haven't been married/divorced and Cheryl has, we still both bring in baggage to the relationship, just different. The older you are, the more baggage you can accumalate if you don't deal with it.  Even though I was single I still dated and had failed relationships and still have my own "set in my ways" type mentality, though I always strive to not become that way, we still do.  Also, having to deal with an ex-spouse is stressful and also depending on circumstances bringing in past abuses and problems, can complicate new relationships.
8. Ex-spouses stink.  I told Cheryl she might win the award for the worst Ex-husband ever.  He's a treat. I've met many an ex-spouse whether it was people I dated or during my years of ministry to students and people, but no matter how you cut it, dealing with an ex-spouse, especially one that is uncooperative and when dealing with children and custody issues is difficult.  It's a constant reminder of the past, and regret you have, and it's constant interference in your current marriage, whether you want it to or not, especially if you have an ex-who is difficult.  If  you are reading this and have an ex or are an ex and you have custody and children together, don't be a jerk. It's no longer about you, it's about the  kids.  Cooperate, do what is best for the kids. Our kids are used and manipulated and used as pawns and for personal selfish reasons.  Makes me mad and sad and nothing I can do about it.   But, marrying someone who is divorced and has kids is sometimes part of the deal. 
9. Don't get sucked in. It's easy for me to get sucked in to the trappings of dealing with Cheryl's ex-spouse.  Which only causes trouble in your current marriage. As difficult as it is, you have to stay out of it, unless it is a safety issue for them.  Sometimes you need to step it and sometimes, I've had to help Cheryl make a decision, but overall it's best to try and let your current spouse handle their ex spouse.
10. Get rid of Distractions.  For some it's a job, for others it's friends, some it's hobbies, or whatever.  We can have people or things in our lives that come between you and your spouse.  A negative friend or relative who is unhappy in their marriage so they constantly interfere or give you bad advice on your marriage.  Spending too much time at your job, or your hobby. I'm having to learn to prioritize and have balance in my time so that my wife and kids get their fair share of me. 
11. Communication, Compromise, Change.  3 C's easy to remember hard to do.  You have to communicate, over communicate if you have to, regardless of your personality.  I've got to compromise on some of my ideas, wants, opinions, and feelings. And I've got to be willing to change the way I handle things, think about things, and even deal with things.
12. I've got a lot to learn.  My whole life I've tried to prepare myself for marriage.  Learn to not do things the way my parents or others have did, but in the end, I know less than I thought. I've got a lot to learn in how to be a good husband, good father, and good partner.
13. Your spouse is your best friend.  I have been lots of friends and lots of  male friends, but your spouse should be your best friend.

14. Same Team.  A healthy marriage is where both realize they are on the same team. You support, endorse, and have each others best interest in mind.  It's easier to say than do, I'm still trying to learn it.

15. I affect others.  My moods, my word, my ways, etc...effect my wife and my step-kids.  I tell it like it is, I don't hold back, and I can be blunt, stubborn, hard-headed, and "as matter of fact", most times that's a good thing, but sometimes. I have to learn to be sensitive, understand anothers feelings, or consider how they feel or view me and my behavior, attitude or actions.

I am sure there are other things I've learn and so much to learn, this marriage is a journey and each day should be an adventure to learn.  I probably say I'm sorry as much as I love you, but I'm learning and hope to always be learning how to be the best spouse I can be.  I want to grow closer to my wife day by day, year by year, and enjoy the time the Lord has given us together and spend the rest of my life with my bride Cheryl.  I want to be just as happy on my wedding day a year ago as I will be if I live another 30,40, or 50 years.  I also want to love her kids as my own and be the best dad I can be.  Above all I want to honor God!

I love you Cheryl, thank you for loving  me, accepting me, tolerating me, and putting up with me. I pray my experiences and mistakes can help others in their relationships both now and in the future!  I hope to learn alot more this next year!  I leave you with the words of I Corinthians 13 that is our model for how we should love each other, especially in marriage.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Conditioned

(I'll be away from the computer monday so you're getting my blog on friday instead of monday)

Conditioned

Hebrews 12:1(NIV)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

My air conditioner is broke in my car. It's getting hot. You know for years people lived without a/c in their houses and cars and got along just fine. You know why? They were conditioned. They got used it, and before A/C they didn't know what they were missing anyway. However, we live in a society today where people are conditioned to have a/c, so when it's hot and humid(for you that live out west look up humid), people can't handle the heat, but really it's they think they can't handle the heat.

Now I'm not martyr, and i'm with the rest of you, I got a/c in my house still and there is no way I'd want to live without it, but I've decided to hold off on getting my a/c fixed in my car because #1 it's going to cost several hundred dollars, and #2 we need the money for other things, so I decided I will go this summer and just suck it up and suffer. (I bet people will not want to ride in my car).

Conditioned. That is what I want to talk about today. We get conditioned(get used to something). and it becomes acceptable or ok. That is what happens with sin or bad habits. The more you expose yourself to something though at first it may be uncomfortable or make you feel guilty, the more you do it or expose yourself too it the less those feelings reside and the more comfortable you get, til pretty soon you are conditioned.

Let me give you an example in my own life. Television/movies. There are things we see on tv now even on network TV that a few years ago, bothered me, offended me, and made me uncomfortable (foul language, content, etc) and now i hardly blink when I hear or see something on my favorite tv show or a movie, why? It's because I've become conditionied by it. Hollywood slowly pushed the envelope and society has slowly caved in, to where what once was awful is now acceptable.

I remember 20 years ago Ellen "coming out" on her tv show and everyone being in shock and it making news, you can't hardly watch a tv show or movie now without gay characters and honestly we don't even think about it too much, I know I don't. I've become conditioned.

I'm tired of being conditioned by the world. I want to exercise my freedom to change the radio station if I don't like the song, to change the channel if something in a show offends me, to walk about of situation if it makes me uncomfortable. Our being conditioned goes alot farther than just tv or music. It goes into hanging with the wrong crowd, dating and marrying the wrong people, and putting up with dishonesty and backstabbing at work. We can get conditioned to anything if we put up with it or tolerate it long enough.

How many of us said we would never say something or do something, yet later down the road we find ourselves doing that very behavior or having that attitude we said we'd never have? Conditioned. We've allowed ourselves to be conditioned. The thing is, it's different for all of us, I might take a strong stand on what music I listen to, but ignore what friends I associate with. I may take a strong stand on what tv shows I watch, but have little thought for how I choose a person to date/marry. I may take a stand for abortion or equal rights, but then I steal from work or look the other way why someone else cheats. You see how we can easily we can give in? not think things through? allow things into our lives? accept things?

God wants us to be accepting of others, but that doesn't mean accepting their behavior, lifestyles, or even becoming a part of their lives if it doesn't honor God. God wants us to live in the world, and not be "of the world. Meaning, we live in this world, we interact and be part of the world, but we don't do so until we become "just like" the world.

I may have to suffer without a/c in my car this summer, but i've already started getting used to it, to be honest, the extra sweating probably don't hurt me any, I need to lose back a few pounds anyway, but it made me realize, I dont need a/c, I want a/c. And you'll find there are lots of things in this world we think we need we don't. And lots more things we've made ok, but they are not ok in God's eyes, and alot more things we accept, that we shouldn't. I can't tell you what those things are for you, because we are all different, but I'd take inventory of your life on a regular basis and see what's sneaking in and what you need to get rid of and what you've become conditioned to that's not healthy and get rid of it, avoid it, or pray about it.

Open Your Eyes

Open Your Eyes

Well the picture speaks for itself, but have you ever had something right in front of you and you couldn't see it?

Everyone else could see it except you? Your husband is cheating, your girlfriend is 2 timing you, your best friend is lying about you behind your back. Your co-worker is throwing you under the table and blaming you for their mistake.

These types of events happen everyday, but some of us, choose to look the other way and not see what is obvious. I wish I had answer, but I don't? People would rather live in a fantasy world or living a lie, than face the truth sometimes.

Truth is, some people aren't very good to us sometimes. People who are supposed to be. People that we were supposed to trust. They lie, cheat, steal, gossip, betray, mock, and hurt us. Why? Different reasons. Sometimes selishness, sometimes jealousy, envy, or unhealthy desires. Sometimes greed, to get ahead, because they think it makes them popular or in control, or because they refuse to deal with their own personal struggles. Or sometimes not sure they even know.

I'm not saying all people are bad or evil, they are not, sometimes those we love dissapoint us or hurt us and it's not intentional, they just mess up or accidently hurt us. I'm not talking about these type of events or circumstances. I'm talking about people who aren't very good people, and we need to avoid them.

We need open our EYES and choose our friends, who we date, and especially who we marry very carefully. We need to surround ourself with people who encourage us, build us us, and are trustworthy. We need to avoid people who are only in it for what they can get out of it, and users, and people that will hurt you and not even feel bad about it, let alone admit they did anytnhing wrong.

People abuse their kids, cheat on their spouse, betray their friends, lie to their bosses, and use people to get what they want and don't blink an eye. These are the type of people we need to avoid. They are life suckers. They are energy zappers, and they are heart-breakers.

We don't want to believe our parent would do that, or our spouse would say that, or our best friend could be that way, but yes, even those we love and trust or should be able to trust, can turn out to be rotten people.

God loves everyone, and everyone is capable of change, but problem is people like this see no need to change, so the danger is they may never, and besides, it's not up to me or you to change them. We can only help people who want help and can help themselves and the rest of them will drag us down to their level, if not step on us as they go by, so open your eyes.

I'm not saying be skeptical or don't trust anyone, I'm saying be wise whom you let in your life and whom you trust. Don't be so naive. Don't be so engrossed with good looks, you can't see the person you want to date is a selfish jerk even though they are hot, or don't be so desperate to not be alone you settle. Don't date people for wrong reasons, let alone marry them and have children. Don't be so obsessed with being popular and having friends, that you will be friends with anyone no matter that they use you, talk bad about you behind their back, or take advantage of you.

I'm not trying to be negative today, I'm trying to be realistic. We have too many of us going through life destroying our lives and collecting baggage because we won't open our eyes and make better choices when it comes to our relationships with others.

We must learn to be objective, look at the facts, and not base our relationships(friendships, working, church, dating, romantic, marriages, etc...) on wrong motives, wrong choices, or compromising right/wrong. If not the cycle of bad relationships will continue in our lives and these relationships end up affecting others as well.

That is why we need to surround ourselves with Godly, christian influences and people. People who are honest, trustworhty, care about others, who are sincere, unselfish, respectful, and treat others with mutal respect. People who protect others and are loyal and are self-less. These are the types of friends, dates, spouses, family, and co-workers we need and need to be. So, open your eyes and get to being that type of person and avoid those who are not!

I'll close with the words of Paul who reminds us the type of people to avoid in:

Romans 1: 28-30

28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;